April Fools: A Hiester Classic

April 1, 2005. Todd and I were engaged and I was living alone in my apartment (oh, how I miss that place - it was so... clean). He had finished a job the day before and had been paid with cash. He hadn't had time to get to the bank, so he stashed the cash in a safe place for the night, intending to take it to the bank the next morning.

I had taken the day off to attend Kurstin's track meet, but it didn't start until mid-morning. At 8am I received a phone call from Todd. He informed me that the money was either missing or misplaced. He specifically recalled putting it in his Star Wars stein, but the entire cup was not where he thought he left it. He wasn't quite positive that he had put the cup where he thought he had, so he began a thorough search of the house. Because of the amount of cash, he didn't put it in his usual hiding place, in case it had been compromised. He chose a new location- the stein- and placed it in his closet behind some board games. Sounds secure enough.

We went through some options to try to figure out what could have happened. It seemed that only three scenarios were plausible: 1 - He actually hid the money somewhere else, but couldn't recall where. 2 - Someone had entered the house and taken the money. 3 - The kids got into it.

The only answer that seemed even remotely likely was that Todd had forgotten his actual hiding spot. So while he waited for me to get ready and get over to his house, he ransacked the place. If the house wasn't tossed before, it certainly looked like it now. He upturned mattresses, couches and dresser drawers. He searched everywhere... to no avail.

When I arrived, we took the next logical action: we went to the school to interrogate the kids. We started with Wesley (for no particular reason, other than the fact that he was the oldest). We sat down with him at the tables outside the cafeteria and told him that something had happened at home. Something that could affect the whole family in a very negative way. Not needing any further prompting, Wesley said, "Does it have to do with that cup?" At this point, time stalled. He knew something. We were about to solve the mystery. Would it be bad? What could have happened?

"Yes... Do you know where the cup is?"

"Yeah, its in Tyler's backpack."

"And did you happen to see what was inside the cup?"

"Yeah. A LOT of money."

"And is the money still in the cup?"

"No. I have it right here." And with that being said, Wesley proceeded to dig FORTY 100 dollar bills from the little zippered pocket in the leg of his shorts. Our eyes about popped out of our heads. Time halted. No one breathed. When the money had safely transfered possession, we began the tirade of how wrong this was... in so many ways!!! Why they had it in the first place, what they should have done when they found it, the danger they were in being in possession of that much cash at school... We questioned Tyler as well, who tried to keep his composure at first, but finally broke down in tears, proclaiming, "I hate to lie!!!"

Here is how it all went down:

Tyler wanted to buy a book from the book fair. He was going to get into his dad's change jar (not okay) to get what he needed. There was no time to rummage for change without the risk of getting caught, so he snagged the whole cup, tucked it into his backpack, and headed for the bus. Once on the bus, he dug out the cup to sift for the change he needed. To his surprise, when he opened the cup, he found not only the change he sought, but $4,000 cash! Fear. Utter fear. Unfortunately, the other kids on the bus saw the money, too. Tyler didn't think it would be safe in his backpack (smart move there), so Wesley stuffed it in his zippered pocket, thereby securing it on his person. Their plan was to replace it when they got home. Sadly for them, we found that it was missing before they had the chance to carry out their brilliant plan. (As mentioned before, luck is never on Tyler's side.)

This was the day the boys lost everything. Every last item was removed from their room, including the bunk beds. They were left with nothing but two mattresses on the floor and a stack of their clothes. No toys, no books, no nothing. At the end of that month, Ally had a birthday party (sleepover) and one of the girls noticed the boys' stark room. She exclaimed, "oh, I hate it when my parents watch Dr. Phil!"

For the boys, this was a lesson learned the hard way. They set out to commit a medium-sized offense, but it turned out to be the biggest offense ever committed by any Hiester kid in the history of our family. Today it is something we all can laugh hysterically about. Around here, this incident is known as "The time the boys stole the $4,000."

Hiester Classics

We have so many funny stories from years past, that I've decided to begin a series that I will call "Hiester Classics". Every family has those "remember when..." stories, and since our family has so many members, we tend to have a lot of those stories. On a regular basis, one of the kids comes up with some memory that brings back the laughter. I've asked each of them to come up with one that they'd like me to share. So far we have 3 or 4, but there are probably hundreds if we brainstormed. Check back regularly... they'll be comin'.

Missing 20 Found!

It was under the couch...
(refer to "The Silly Things That Boys Do" for background)

Mr. Mischief (An Update On Robben's Doings)

Oh, the joys of raising a boy! I'm reading Dr. Dobson's book "Bringing Up Boys" (ha ha! I was distracted just now when I was typing and I accidently put "Bringing Up Beans"! Don't ask me why :)) And it seems that my little man is "textbook". I have a feeling we'll be getting to know the staff at the emergency room on a personal level over the next few years. No ER visits yet, but I'm sure they're in our future...

Here are some of his antics over the last few days...

He dug through his diaper bag, removed a container of green beans, popped off the lid, and took a few swipes at it with his own fingers (as evidenced by the green face he sported later) before feeding it to Lily. I walked in to find him hovering curiously over the dog as he studied her lapping form. (He was under Tyler's supervision at the time, who happened to be reading a book, and his response to the situation was, "well then you guys watch him if it's that important." This to Wesley, Amy and myself as we were sharing the duty of preparing dinner.)

When I caught him with a pen in his mouth, I spouted off the usual statement: "Not for your mouth!" And he very quickly shoved the pen into the dog's mouth, who happened to be standing by as an accomplice.

Sunday at church, Robben toddled over to a walker, - clearly not noticing that someone was using it! - grabbed both sides of it and proceeded to shake it with all his might. I ran over and apologized profusely, and the elderly lady answered, "oh, good thing I was holding on!"

Today Robben and I colored. At one point, Lily made off with a crayon. I tracked her down to confiscate the drawing utensil, but knowing what the doggie's heart truly desired, Robben took the very same crayon back to the pooch and gently stuck it in her mouth.

Again, Robben decided to sit in the doggie bed. He now enjoys playing in the crate, sometimes closing himself in. (If I was a kid, I would love that. I remember the secure feeling of being underneath the up-turned laundry basket.) To make my life a smidge easier, I removed the empty food dish and not-so-empty water dish. I placed the water dish on the hearth, thinking that would be good enough. I am learning. A little while later, as I spoke with my dear friend Amy on the phone, Robben not only splashed violently in the water, spilling it on the hearth and the floor, but I barely made it over in time to stop him from lapping the dog's water up with his own tongue. What's good for Lily is good for Robben (or so seems to be his mind set).

I cleaned the living room today, which is close to impossible with a male toddler on the loose... and we won't even talk about the dog. (It was almost as difficult as untangling a mass of 12 latex balloons and 2 oversized mylars outdoors in a windstorm with no assistance. I did that the day Amy brought her twins home. It took me a half an hour and afterwards I had to apologize for the hair stuck in the ribbons of the balloons, because with all the whipping wind, balloons and hair, factored in with the static cling, I lost quite a bit of my mop to the endeavor.) Anyway, aside from taking things out as I was putting them away, Robben found it very entertaining to stomp in the piles I had swept up. Think kid jumping in leaves, but substitute cat litter and dust bunnies.

That's all I can think of for now. Suffice it to say, my little one keeps me running and laughing. I'm so thankful for my precious boy... certainly there will never be a dull day!

The Ultimate Irony

There are two things about Tyler that are factual and undeniable.

First, he has bad luck. This is not a superstition, or a woe-is-me attitude (though he oft has that as well), but just a basic, fundamental truth of the universe. If everybody has a balloon and one pops, its Tyler's (that happened once). He cannot win a game of chance. He has never rolled a yahtzee. He once paraded around the house in victory because he got second at Monopoly... it's sad when your kid is glad he only lost to one person!

Second, there are few living souls on Earth who read more than Tyler Hiester. Once he gets his hands on a book, it takes but a few hours for him to devour it. He read "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy in second grade. In fourth grade he earned $100 by reading the bible cover to cover... and he retains it. He also loves to write and aspires to be a book editor when he grows up, and perhaps even an author one day.

Here is the irony: Tyler James Leroy Hiester has NEVER had a paper cut!!!

The Silly Things That Boys Do

Though it's hard for me to write daily, Robben has been giving me plenty of material lately. He's upping the anty. If all of these other kids hadn't broken me in (well, broken me), I'd probably be stressed and exasperated. On the contrary, I find Robben's mischief quite amusing :)

The other day, Robben was in my room with the door shut. He likes to play with the doors, but once he gets it shut, he has to wait for me to open it. He usually communicates his need for help with an ear-splitting, brain-bleeding scream, but we're working on it. He's finally learning the magic word. Anyway, I went to open the door for him (I was on the outside) and he came out toting a piece of toilet paper... that was still attached to the roll. It trailed from my bathroom, through my room, down the hall and into the living room. I guess it's a testimony to Charmin Extra Strong!

The same morning, Robben was going through my purse. Nothing unusual. Wesley had given me $40 to order Amy's corsage for the prom and I had just shoved it in my purse. Well, apparently Robben dug the money out and was playing with it. Currently, I've only located one of the 20s. I'm sure the other will turn up in some random place like the silverware drawer or somebodies laundry basket.

My little man is developing an affinity for blankets. Anything remotely resembling a blanket can be a recipient of physical affection from my boy. Well the waste basket in his room has a fabric lining. The other day, he removed that lining and came out hugging it and smiling with self-satisfaction. I later learned that the trash was still in it... diaper trash.

This morning in the car, Robben got a little crazier with his dance moves. He now incorporates his arms in a drumming motion. We looked back and his arms were waving, his face in an open-mouthed, pink-cheeked grin. Pure, unadulterated joy.

Also this morning, Robben got into the boys' room. For some reason he loves getting on Tyler's bed. He must know it's destined to be his one day. He exited the room with Tyler's wallet, a chapstick and a bracelet. At first I thought he was engaging in theivery, but upon further investigation I learned that he had practiced fair trade. In place of the items he lifted, he left an American flag on a short stick, his favorite blanket, and a stuffed dog. I suppose that teaches me not to doubt his character!

Wesley reported that there was a wrestling match between the baby and the pooch the other day. Apparently there was a lot of rolling around, drooling and teeth-baring by both parties.

The Dynamic Duo

Robben & Lily. Oh my goodness! These two, you would not believe their antics. They have become best buds, and I think they might both be having crises of identity. Lily thinks it perfectly acceptable to dig through Robben's toys to find something she deems chew-worthy. And likewise, Robben can often be found with one of Lily's toys, or dare I admit - a bone, in his mouth. Robben enjoys waving a blanket in Lily's face, taunting her into a game of tug-o-war, one of her favorites. And when Mommy says no, Lily is the first to loose her grip. She turns her little doggie face away in a respectable attempt at self-control, while Robben continues to tease her. When they're not playing with each other's toys or playing tug-o-war, these two little geniuses devise a wicked plan to ruin things that don't belong to them. Yesterday, Robben opened the game cabinet and pulled out the Uno cards. He then proceeded to dump them out onto the floor, where Lily then came and selected a few to make off with and chew to smitherines. Oh well, at least that commotion distracted Robben from eating the box! And whenever the baby and the dog are outside, you can bet one or both of them will be carrying a stick... and yes, they both have been allowed to bring their sticks in to chew up.

Whenever I eat, you can count on four eyes on me, in bold-faced begging fashion. Luckily, Lily only sits looking as cute as can be, sometimes on her hind legs, hoping I'll toss her a bone (so to speak). Robben, on the other hand, is a bit more assertive about his desires. Today he tried in vain to climb into my lap. When that didn't work, he settled for putting our house phone into my water - charger side down. Not to worry, it still works. He did manage to get a good portion of my sandwich (after his own lunch, mind you). Then he brought me a little carton of goldfish crackers that he found in somebody's Easter Basket. I gave him about four at a time. He'd stick 3 in his mouth and tease Lily with the 4th one. A couple of times he gave it to her, but I did catch him once allowing her to lick it, but then keeping it for himself... and yes, eating it. This isn't the worst of it. Sometimes Robben invites Lily to lick the roof of his mouth while he giggles uncontrollably.

During Robben's morning nap today, Lily snoozed in her doggie bed... head thrown back, mouth open and snoring! And speaking of that doggie bed, Robben was found sitting in it, playing with my car keys this evening. That doesn't sound like much, but this bed is inside a dog crate/kennel thing :) So Robben had crawled into the crate and found his way to Lily's favorite spot. I guess he wanted to see what all the hype was about.

Lily's food and water are also kept in the crate, keeping it safe from plundering kitties - namely Rascal, who is on a diet... Julius and Peep, the canaries, are a bit nervous, too. Robben enjoys splashing his hands in Lily's water. I tell him no, which he usually respects, but the other day he got clever. He walked around to the side of the crate (rather than using the front door) and stuck his hands through the bars and splashed to his little heart's content. He didn't even stop when he saw me watching. Almost as if he figured I just didn't want him splashing the water from the door, but going through the bars would be just fine.

Hopefully soon I can get a good picture of these two in action. At this point in the game, they seem to view each other as equals (unlike the cats, who are clearly and obviously above such nonsense). I'm glad they have both found such a friend. Aaaahhhh, my boy and his dog :) :) :)

Weekly Trivia

Fun Facts by Kurstin Hiester
Didyanose:
The average head has 100,000 hairs on it ,and each hair has its own little muscle that can make it stand up when you're scared.(Beards are the fastest growing hairs.Yuck!) If you stretch out all of your Blood vessels (Warning:don't try this at home) you'd have enough to circle around the Earth 2 times, and yet your little o'l heart pumps blood through those vessels and back once every minute. Your brain is 74%water. A womens heart pumps faster than a mans. We have 2 million sweat glands. We produce 25,000 quarts of spit in a lifetime thats enough to fill 2 swimming pools. You have 46 miles of nerves. If your right-handed your right lung is bigger than your left lung, but more important your finger-nails on your right hand grow faster. Your stomach gets a new lining every 3 days. If it didn't the digestive system (which can corrode Iron) would go crazy, it would eat itself alive in 2 weeks. No two tongue prints are the same , plus a tastebud on that same tongue only lasts 7-10 days, so treat it well. Lots of chocolate!!!!!!!!!:):):):):):):)

A Very Hiester Easter

We did things a little differently here in the Hiester house for Easter this year. Rather than the kids just waking up and finding their baskets on the kitchen table, I wanted them to do a little work for them... So I created an Easter Scavenger Hunt.


The clues started at the table, where Todd had made a "Hoppy Easter" sign with a rabbit giving the first clue. (He did this the night before while I was at the hospital with Amy)

From there the kids were led around the house finding further clues to the whereabouts of their Easter treats. The clues were all designed to be fun, but easy enough for Elissa to help out. Of course, Tyler knew what all of them were right off the bat. They worked as a team to make sure everyone could be involved.

The final clue led them to the car, and the jackpot. The baskets!

Everyone brought them back in and rummaged through the loot. Amy (Schleuter)- can you talk to Wesley about the faces he makes when I'm trying to take pictures? Thanks :)

Then Daddy got Robben up and he got his Easter Basket. He didn't get to participate in the Scavenger Hunt, but I'm not sure he would have gotten the concept anyway :)

He was enthralled with the pinwheel, but I don't think it really compared to the animal crackers :) He chose those for breakfast...which actually beat everyone else's meal of chocolate. Certain rules do get suspended on holidays :)

After the egg-citement (sorry, I had to do it) of baskets and candy, everyone ran off to get ready for church- the important part of Easter. Naturally we got there late and ended up sitting in the cafe (it was either that or the lobby, so hey, not bad). Apparently, Robben cried the whole time and they finally came and got me right at the end of service. He was fine after that, but I worked in the nursery during the next service and he would not go back to his class. Ally ended up sitting in the family room with him. I don't know if it was the unorthodox breakfast, but this was definitely a new attitude for Robben Carey, who absolutely loves his church class. I hope it was a one time thing!!!

After church we headed over to Chad & Tara's for family, food and fun. She had lots of games planned and even more prizes to give out (she had an overzealous basket-making grandparent). The first game was "Chubby Bunny". The kids have to stuff their cheeks with as many marshmallows as possible, and then say "chubby bunny". If they can utter the magic phrase, they spit out the marshmallows and count them. Whoever has the most wins.

The boys get pretty disgusting with it. Wesley causes quite a scene with lots of yelling, laughing, gagging and spitting. In the end, he had the same number as Tyler, but he couldn't say chubby bunny. I think Tyler won (quietly).

After some more grazing around the food display, we sent the guys out to "hide" eggs. We had them leave 30 eggs out in the open for Robben and the twins to "find"... more like collect.

I remember saying last year, "Just imagine, next year Robben will be running around with the rest of them hunting for eggs." Sure enough! I think he got about 7. He doesn't care what's inside, though. It's all about putting them in the basket :)

And the ones that were placed on the swings got a ride :) We had to convince him to take them. He loves giving things rides, so when he saw the eggs on the swings he was all about gently pushing them back and forth. My little cutie.

Next the kids did Egg Bowling. It's actually more like horseshoes, but whatever. Tara placed an orange (it was supposed to be a hard-boiled egg that was left white, but she forgot to save one) on the grass, and then everyone got a colored egg to throw. Whoever got closest won. Because there were so many prizes, they got to play a lot. Probably everyone won except Tyler... he has terrible luck.

Robben didn't really get a turn, per se, but he did go over and pick up the orange once :) He was probably going to go put it in his basket!

When the kids were all done, Todd and Chad tried their hands at it. My man actually hit the orange with his egg :) :) :)

Then we ate some more. We did the usual grazing, but we also had ham sandwiches and various potato and pasta salads. And candy.

The final game was one without a name. The kids had to sit in a chair with a cup on their heads. Someone would hold a mirror in front of them and they would have to try to fill their cups with candy. Ally found out it's pretty easy when you touch the cup, so we had to make a rule: no touching the cup :) Naturally, Tyler's fell off his head before he even started. On his second attempt, he managed to fill the cup almost to the brim, but didn't know when to say enough is enough, so it tipped, spilling it's entire contents. This game was a bit more hazardous for the baby, with so much candy all over the ground (choking hazard, in Elissa's words.).

This final picture is included to prove a point I've been trying to make for years: Tyler is weird!

The Hiesters had a good Easter, and we hope your family did as well...

And What Did The Easter Bunny Bring You This Year?

I hope you had a good Easter. I'd venture to say that the Heasley family received the best Easter gifts EVER, though. Amy's twins baked for 38 weeks to the day, overstaying their welcome, needless to say. She tried everything to get the process started: lots of walking, eating Chinese food, drinking nasty concoctions, and other activities not to be mentioned on a G-rated blog. What finally did the trick? Jogging, jumping jacks, and a whole lot of patience.

Amy went in to the hospital on Saturday evening, hoping for something to happen. After all the tricks and prayers, she was finally admitted. I was able to hang out with her until about 1am, but Easter being the next day, I had to head home to prepare a good time for my fam.

Amy did get an epidural for the first time... she's had 5 babies without drugs, but the twins finally convinced her to allow modern medicine to help :) All the doctors and all the nurses advised Amy to consider a C-section, but that was something she really wanted to avoid. Apparently it is quite rare to have twins the old-fashioned way. My dear friend Amy is a rare gem, though. She delivered both babies the hard way, elevating her status to "legend" at the hospital. One nurse said, "We do that here?'' She did have to be in the operating room in case there was an emergency. At 2:42am on Easter Sunday, April 12, Jonas Logan Heasley was delivered directly into his daddy's hands, and 4 minutes later, Tea Layelle was a good little girl and followed her big brother right out.

And here's the little chap: Jonas Logan Heasley 6lbs 3oz 20"

And the baby of the family: Tea Layelle Heasley 5lbs 13oz 18.5"

Amy and the babies got to come home yesterday (Monday) to very excited brothers and sisters. I don't think there will be a shortage of love or attention for these two lucky babes!!

For more info and pictures, click on "Grandma Honey" under "Blogs I Follow". This is Logan's mom's site and I'm sure she has lots to report. She already has the professional pictures from the hospital - they are super cute! She got to be in the delivery room for the birth of her grandbabies :)

Something New To View

When I was in Kansas visiting Lyndsay & Luis, I saw some amazing photographs around their house. They have a friend who has an incredible eye for some really creative photos, and some of her work is displayed in their home. Lyndsay sent me the link to her website, and I've put it on the blog for your viewing pleasure. She also sent me another one who is based in Denver (or Colorado Springs?). Lyndsay especially loves the photos this lady takes of kids. When they have a family, she hopes to make the trek to have their pictures done there.

So the one Lyndsay has displayed in her house is Christine, and her work seems to be mainly nature and such. The other one is Audrey and she has lots of interesting "people" pictures. Both links are here under "websites 2 check out". Take a gander...

Also under the same heading I have "Jewel", "Da Font", and "Wordle". Jewel is obvious: it is the link to Jewel's website. She has a blog and I'm convinced she's the one who writes on it :) Da Font is a website with thousands of free fonts you can download (you know me). And wordle is this really cool thing where you type in lots of words and then it creates a random "word bubble" using what you put in. You can then change the font and color. If you want one word bigger than the rest, just type it in multiple times. It's pretty cool.

Anyway, these are some of the things I enjoy (besides Hiester Family Antics, of course), so if you have a spare moment, check them out!

Well, That's One Way To Learn!

Wednesday night at dinner, Wesley requested a haircut. Todd declined due to the fact that he had far too much on his plate for the evening as it was (and not his dinner plate). Wesley stated a desire to learn to do it himself anyway, since he won't be able to depend on Todd forever (Wesley's reasoning). As with most things, Wesley's idea of "learning" to do something, is not asking for direction and then listening carefully, perhaps even taking notes. No. Wesley learns from mistakes. A fact that brings much worry to his parents. Whatever task Wesley takes on, he just goes for it... helter-skelter and with arms akimbo (first use of that word, Tara! Go me!) Personal haircutting was no exception. He came charging hysterically into the living room with a towel over his head exclaming, "I HAVE TO FIX THIS!!!" After much coaxing, the towel came down to reveal a patchwork of bald spots, scattered randomly about his somewhat oversized melon. Laughter ensued. There was yelling, begging, crying, laughing and general covorting over Wesley's new do... and this was only Wesley's reaction. Needless to say, Todd did stop what he was doing to "fix" Wesley's hair. All he could really do was shave it off. He gave it the closest shave possible without going "bic"... and there are still some patches of hair shorter, where Wesley had hacked into it!

I asked him after school what type of reaction his hair got, and he said "I got mixed results." He said some people said it looked good, others offered him hats. He wore a borrowed beanie (how do you spell that?) all day until track practice, where he sported a bare head in an effort to tan his scalp. When I picked him up he was wearing a tattered old straw hat that Coach Campbell gave him, supposedly for PRing in two of his events. Mmm-Hmmm. She just didn't want to see the glare off his head, I bet.

So all I have left is a question and a lesson:

The Question: Why, oh why, would you take a razor willy-nilly to your own hair, when -in your own words - "I didn't know how the clippers worked!" 3 months before you graduate???!!!

The Lesson: If your dad says "no", screw it up yourself so he has to fix it.